Back of beyond

I didn’t mean to be so late. It was all Aunt Bela’s fault. She kept adding to the menu, so the spread would look impressive. But I really didn’t want to be impressed. She knew it. I suspect she wanted to ensure she hadn’t forgotten to cook all the exotic dishes that Grandma Noni had taught her when she was being brainwashed to marry the only suitor around who was obsessed about  eating outlandish dishes that challenged the culinary skills of the most celebrated chefs. Well, she didn’t marry him, in fact didn’t marry anyone, but hadn’t forgotten the extraordinary recipes either. And today she wanted me to certify that she was still the best chef on the entire planet. I wished I didn’t have to eat so much. But I know she made everything out of love for me and I am quite fond of her too.

Sunday evenings are scary if you have to take the train from the god forsaken Acton station to Victoria and then further on to Croydon where you took the bus to East Croydon. It’s always deserted and things happen. I hoped I’d stayed with Aunt Bela instead of staying with my dad’s cousin’s family in East Croydon. I could go see the orchids at Kew Gardens and visit the Windsor Castle most days with Aunt Bela then. But that wasn’t  the plan sadly. It’s a long route to Croydon  and we both knew it. This was my first English vacation alone and really hoped it wouldn’t be my last one.

 And now the stoned fellow who had no clue where he was and where he was going was badgering me for dollars, pounds whatever I had because he needed tickets. Of course he didn’t need train tickets. Everyone knew it and even he knew it. All he needed was a ticket to a spell of ecstasy and I was his best bet. It wasn’t a very happy thought because we were the only two passengers on a late Sunday evening train ride leaving from the darkest, shadiest and scariest train stations in the whole world. But I assumed having him for company was better than being alone. Half a loaf is better than none, right? So I gave him a few bucks so he’d be happy to have me as a fellow traveler. But he disappeared and never came back. I should have known that I never take smart decisions and this wasn’t an exception.

I waited alone on the dark deserted platform and prayed. I learnt that I could pray hard because I had never been a praying kind ever before. I had also never seen so many trains whoosh past without thinking about stopping for people like me praying hard for them to say, “Hey! come on in. We’d love to have you aboard.”I realized trains don’t think unfortunately. They just keep going. I kept waiting hearing my heart thump louder and louder till it was almost ready to burst. I decided that I was dead and thankfully didn’t have to plan my next move. That’s when the train stopped for me to hop on.

“ Don’t ever get  into an empty carriage sweetheart. It’s dangerous. Safety in number, remember.” Aunt Bela was thrusting some delicious  homemade crepes with coconut jaggery filling wrapped in a neat package for the long ride back home. She kissed my forehead saying” Food can make you think smart. So eat whenever you want to think.”

What an odd thought. I would become a humongous hippo at this rate because I needed to think always, and particularly now about how to reach my dad’s cousin’s home before they started calling the authorities thinking I was traceless. It was probably by some sinister design that the public phone at the station was not working either. What an odd coincidence.

The train was largely empty but one of the carriages had a group of people. Great. I hopped on. Finally I had embarked on my homeward ride.

But I had never seen so many pink, orange, purple, green and yellow colors on people’s hair all at once and so many tattoos of dinosaurs on their hands and necks. I could smell extinct. They were happy to see me and wanted me to dance with them before becoming extinct. They were playing on improvised instruments and were completely euphoric. They were  in front of  me but also someplace else which I didn’t know of course. Instead of joining them I  dug out the crepes so I could think. And as Aunt Bela had said, the jaggeried coconut helped me  think. I realized they were just happy people who had a right to be happy, so I sat and clapped in solidarity while they continued to be euphoric.

My dad’s cousin was waiting at Victoria. He wasn’t taking any chances with my thinking I guessed . Boy ! Was I glad to see him because I could now talk to someone finally about the orchids and the castle. He looked anxious but happy and relieved and gave me a Belgian chocolate for deciding to reach Victoria and not land on another planet.

“Your dad would be proud of you,” he said. I agreed with him wholeheartedly.