Necky and Neck less

He had never fancied his neck. It was way too long, had always been long, giraffe like or like a crane’s. Only he wasn’t as gorgeous as an elegant crane. And the giraffe’s neck was functional at least  helping him to reach heights impossible for others to conceive. But being a human, that wasn’t any help. You couldn’t reach great heights only with your super long, stretchy, bendy neck. It was at once an embarrassment and an impediment.

In elementary school, they called him ‘necky’ and in middle school it became ‘hoopy’ because the boys thought he looked quite like  a basketball hoop. But that didn’t make him a good basketball player since he could never get the hang of coordinating his hands and legs which were at such a mighty distance from his neck and head. In his sophomore year in high school, the girls giggled when he passed by and high fived yelling “Here’s O2B”,  and it took him a whole year to figure out that it meant Out of Bounds. He was mortified at the discovery and ended up without a girlfriend.

He couldn’t actively look for girlfriends even now because he knew they had  to be acrobats to reach him. For them to plant a kiss  was fraught with challenges. So it was lonely.

Coworkers, especially the women thought he was always craning his neck to snoop and invade their privacy. Sometimes he’d overheard them murmuring in the break room ‘here’s snoopy’ and snicker. In defence he had to quit most jobs. Prospective employers believed he would be very successful in a circus, and so convincing them that he had no such intention was a continuous battle.

 The only person who didn’t seem to have any issues with his neck, as a matter of fact loved it and showered it with kisses, was his mom. She had no second thoughts about it unlike him. She doted on him. He was grateful but was looking for more out of life.

So when he met her for the first time,  he didn’t have any illusions. The only thing that struck him as singularly obvious was the complete absence of a neck on her. It appeared as if she had been absolutely deprived of a key body part. There was hardly anything between her head and shoulders. Perhaps that is why she continued to inhabit her shell for the greater part of the day. Maybe she didn’t like the others calling her Lady Turtle. How rude to draw attention to a decent woman’s physical inadequacy. For heaven’s sake what’s happening to decency among the common folk? She was his most recent coworker in his newest workplace and he decided to make up for all the meanness around. So he asked her out for a lunch date and was rather surprised when she accepted it taking one long respectful look at his neck.

Life has started unfolding differently ever since But he has realized he would never woo her with a necklace. A ring perhaps? This was out of respect for someone who deeply admired his neckiness and wasn’t ashamed to show it. As for him he’s grown quite fond of her lately.